Tantrums in a child (2 years old). Children's tantrums: what to do?


2021-02-20 18:13:58




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Every parent is familiar with children's hysteria: some observe it less often, others-much more often. This behavior of the child is a real test for moms, dads, grandparents. Especially if the scandal occurs in a public place, and people have to watch this unpleasant picture. But in fact, quite often there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is a turning point.

The age from one to three years is different in that the baby's life is undergoing huge changes: he gets new knowledge, learns to speak, understands everything and knows a lot. But, despite this, some things remain inaccessible to the child, and he can not get them on his own. Therefore, each refusal is perceived very acutely and painfully, and the baby shows emotions through tantrums.

During this period, the child can be excessively stubborn and do everything the other way around, and his character becomes simply unrecognizable: from an obedient and kind baby, he turns into a crying caprice.

Tantrums are a stage of a child's development

This is the conclusion reached by child psychologists. Children learn self-control, but at the age of 2, it is difficult for a child to restrain his anger and aggression, and they are not yet able to express their feelings in words. After three years, when the baby learns to express his emotions verbally, the tantrums should go down.

Sometimes parents complain that the child is capricious and makes scandals only in the presence of parents. This may be due to the fact that the baby checks the boundaries of what is allowed, but at the same time is not ready to show his feelings to those people whom he does not trust.


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The causes of tantrums can be elementary trifles that are almost impossible to predict. But psychologists identify a number of factors that provoke children's tantrums.

Anxiety or illness

A small child can not always show what exactly it hurts. And even more so, he does not know how to explain to an adult that he feels bad. Parents should be vigilant and watch the baby. A sign of malaise may be reduced appetite, excessive excitability, or crying for no apparent reason.

Naturally, a sick child becomes the center of the family, so even after recovery, he may require the same attention to himself. If parents are sure that the baby feels good, and he is absolutely healthy, then such manipulations must be "extinguished" and not succumb.

Fighting for attention

Often, due to the lack of parental attention, tantrums occur in the child. 2 years is a difficult period. To solve the problem, you first need to determine whether these requirements are justified. Perhaps this is not just a whim, and the baby really considers himself deprived and lonely.

The main task of parents is to find the line when the satisfaction of needs ends and selfishness begins. If the crying baby is trying to attract attention, but adults are always close to him, do not go on about the little commander at the first cry.

Get what you want

Often due to the fact that it is impossible to get what you want, there are tantrums in the child. 2 years is the period when the baby wants to get what he wants by any means. It can be a toy you like, or an unwillingness to leave the playground, or something else that you should definitely get "here and now".

Parental prohibitions are not always clear to the child, and sometimes it is very difficult to convey the essence to the baby due to his age. Now there are many temptations for him, which are incredibly difficult for him to fight. So parents do not need to specifically test the baby. It is better to remove from his field of view all the items that he may like, and do not take him with you to retail outlets with a children's assortment and sweets.

Do not think that the child is still too young and does not understand anything. Children's tantrums are a way to test the limits of what is allowed and to test parents for stress resistance. Therefore, it is necessary to be consistent and unwavering, so that the baby understands that the ban will not be lifted. Contradictory actions confuse the child and encourage him to come up with new challenges for adults.

With the baby, you need to talk on an equal footing and explain to him why his desire can not be fulfilled now. Over time, the child will understand that the parental "no" is not subject to dispute, and whims in this case are useless.

Authoritarian parenting style and child self-affirmation

In most cases, the child throws tantrums if he tries to protest to his parents. Perhaps the authoritarian upbringing does not allow the child to express himself, so he rebels. Do not forget that children are also people, and they need a certain amount of freedom.

The enthusiastic attitude of parents to the child leads to the fact that the baby becomes indulgent to himself, but absolutely intolerant of others. The lack of constant attention causes a storm of negative emotions in the child, which find an outlet in hysteria.

In order for children to develop harmoniously, adults must maintain the right balance of guardianship and freedom. When the child is sure that his opinion is valued and respected, it will be easier to accept prohibitions.

Whims without a reason

Sometimes there are tantrums in a child without a reason. 2 years – the age when the baby can not explain why he was upset. To understand the situation, parents should analyze recent events. Perhaps there is a tense situation in the family or the baby just did not get enough sleep. All people have different characters and individual characteristics, so all children react in their own way to what is happening.

How to avoid tantrums?

Parents who have a 2-year-old child know that it will not be possible to completely avoid tantrums, but you can take measures to reduce the consequences.

Basic recommendations:

  • The baby should get a good night's sleep.
  • It is necessary to observe the daily routine.
  • It is not necessary to plan the day so that the child receives a large number of new impressions. If this is unavoidable, then you should take care that there is something to entertain the baby.
  • We need to teach children to express their feelings. It is necessary to gently tell them how to do it correctly, and help them choose words.
  • If possible, it is necessary to give the child the right to choose at least in those matters that are not fundamental.
  • All changes in the daily routine should be warned in advance, for example, five minutes before lunch, the baby should be informed, that he would be eating soon.

If the tantrum has already started...

Many parents are wondering: the child has a tantrum - what to do? First of all, you need to remember that you can not threaten the baby with punishment if he is hysterical. In this case, the child will accumulate aggression and resentment, which destroy his psychological health and provoke new scandals. Adults should behave calmly and confidently, expressing understanding. Over time, children learn to control their emotions and monitor their behavior.

But it is not necessary to coax and encourage the child in every possible way just to calm him down. This will give him the confidence that it is possible to behave in this way in order to get what he wants. You do not need to explain something to the baby at the moment of screaming and crying, it is unlikely that he will learn the words addressed to him. Better to wait until he calms down.

If there are frequent tantrums in a child, Komarovsky advises parents to learn to say "no". The decision made cannot be changed or softened, so that the baby does not start manipulating adults. Indulging children's whims will lead to the loss of the limits of what is allowed, so the baby will look for them with new perseverance.

Until the child calms down, it is necessary to speak quietly, but firmly. Your position should be argued and given arguments that will be clear to the child at his age.

Finding compromises

In the event that a child wakes up with a tantrum, it is worth making sure that his sleep was full and long enough. Perhaps you should put him to bed a little earlier. But this behavior can be observed due to the excitable nervous system and the individual characteristics of the baby. Parents can try to make the morning more pleasant and calm, leaving the child to decide for himself what to eat for breakfast: unloved porridge or delicious cottage cheese. Sometimes compromises work wonders, and the child learns to negotiate and concede.

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