Matchmaking: customs and rituals

In life there are moments that are particularly important to him. One of them is the wedding. The importance of this event was underscored by the fact that it begins to prepare long before the significant date. Over the long history of the institution of marriage in Russia there are a lot of traditions related to the organization's future wedding.

In this regard, it is necessary to emphasize this ritual like courtship, customs that have roots in folk culture. The fact is that before the fate of the future spouses often depended not so much on mutual feelings, how many from the decision of the parents of the bride and groom, dogovarivatsya between them. The ritual of courtship contributed to this. Overall, he performed several important functions. With the help of the girl's relatives advised on the intention of a potential spouse to marry her. Further, the possible parents of the bride had to either accept or refuse the matchmakers. In addition, the tradition of matchmaking has assumed a public announcement of the intention of the two families intermarry among themselves.

In General, the ritual was carried out as follows. To place matchmaking, customs instructed the young man to first tell their parents about wanting to marry any girl. Without obtaining their consent, he wouldn't be able to get married. Then, the future groom had to send to the house of his lady friend that was the groom's relatives male and always already married. Usually this role is played by the father, mother or godfather, and uncle or older brother. However, sometimes, when I conceived matchmaking, customs allowed the participation of women, for example, godmother or aunt. Finally, Russia also resorted to the services of a professional matchmaker or matchmakers, adept in the dispensation of the wedding and painted the dignity of their clients in every way. Sometimes the power of the groom's parents came to what they chose the son of the bride-to-be are not particularly interested in his opinion. Criteria when considering candidates performed well-being and social position of the family of the girl.

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After the choice was made, the two men are beautifully dressed and best horses were sent directly to the matchmaking. Practices along this trip was pretty severe. So, the road to the bride's house had to be not direct, but circuitous. In addition, the way the matchmakers, if possible, should not have to stop anywhere and speak to anyone. Thus, according to popular belief, the best time for the rite of matchmaking had come after sunset. In this case, the probability that someone could jinx the event, minimized.  

Entering the house of the bride's parents, the matchmaker should have gotten on a strictly designated place, which immediately showed the owners the purpose of the visit. However, go immediately to the marriage proposal was not accepted. To start the conversation concerned the weather, harvest, etc., then using hints was designated the intentions of the guests. The potential bride called anapamu, for example, ‘kulicki”, “chicken”, “goods”, and the groom, respectively, “hunter”, “rooster”, «merchant». Finally, the hosts expressed matchmakers gratitude for the high honor and offered to go to the table, which was already held direct talks about the wedding. A decisive voice in agreement or disagreement to the marriage belonged to the father of the girl. In his absence – the brother or mother. Leading the conversation, matchmakers, on the one hand, tried to present the groom in the best possible way, and on the other – tried to learn everything possible about the bride. The girl herself in the course of such negotiations was obliged from time to time appear in the room, pouring drinks and showing off their most beautiful and rich outfits. This gave the matchmakers a better opportunity to see the bride, to follow her behavior.

Usually, the first time a marriage contract was not concluded. The head of the family took a pause, to wait, would it be more lucrative offers from any other groom, as well as finding out, in turn on the existing applicant. It happened that the two men were able to specify the threshold. In this case, guests, coming from such unhelpful owners, closed the door back. This action was intended to ward off a fortune from the inhospitable dwelling, and to hinder the rapid marriage of the daughter of such obstinate people. If after a preliminary courtship of the bride's parents were not against marriage, matchmakers, after a certain time came for the second time. There were already quite a business conversation in particular has made so-called “row record”, which was a kind of prototype of the modern marriage contract. It established the timing of a future wedding, size, cost, number of guests, the bride's dowry, etc.

When both sides agreed about everything, the girl passed on narrowing the handkerchief, served as  a kind of pledge of their future relations. SWAT also received wrapped in a handkerchief bread loaf, which is then demonstrated to the whole village as a sign of successful outcome of the case. On this the ritual of courtship has come to an end. Now the families of the future spouses can move on to the next stages of preparing for the wedding.

As you can see, the courtship of the bride customs was regulated in considerable detail. All the rituals associated with it, for a long time was strictly observed, especially in peasant families. In the privileged layers of the Russian society these traditions die out faster, mingling withforeign patterns of behavior.